Happy Friday, patriots!

Well, that went well, didn’t it? After years of attack from a dreadnought political machine, one convinced not only of its righteousness but its inevitable mandate to power, we finally emerged victorious and kept Florida red. Truly that is the biggest story to come out of this week, the noble defense of the great Sunshine State. At long last the proud men of letters at the new New College can breathe a sigh of relief. Various princes at DisneyWorld can rest easy in their large beds—tons of room to spread out—knowing that their loving, legitimate heterosexual marriages are safe. Those happily lost in The Villages can roam free in the knowledge that they will never be found by the red hand of wickedness. Ring the church—and CHURCH ONLY—bells from Destin to Key Largo, because our bastion is protected. Elsewhere, well, whatever. That is a fluke because of bad candidates and also everyone cheated. 

Yes, it was a little hard to pay attention to the vagaries of the entertainment industry this week, because everyone was election-mad and rightfully so. It’s been a monumental few days for America, a time of both rending and healing. Now we move on to the project of establishing electoral colleges in each state, so that the tyrants of Pittsburgh and San Antonio and New Rochelle can no longer rule over pious countryfolk with impunity. Until then, we can talk a little about new releases.